Meshugeh

Oh, you all knew this was coming, didn't you? Yes, true to my almost-every-six-month trend, I am unveiling a brand new blog! This time I decided to stop using region-specific names (hello, The Snark DC and LA Celebutard) and focus on one, always usable, always relevant, masterpiece. And thus Meshugeh was born:

Because Yiddish is an amazing language to begin with, and, let's face it: I'm an uber Jew, without all the religious madness. And because finding a way to incoroporate the JDate logo into my personal blog is too amazing to pass up.

Which leads me into my next point, for those of you that don't know: I'm moving back to Boston. Yes, you've heard me; due to extenuating circumstances in my life, as of November 24th, I will officially be a Bostonian again. And while I'm ridiculously sad to be leaving my friends out here, and uncertain (as always) as to what the future will bring, I am looking forward to this next chapter in my life - and to Dunkies. I could totally go for a Milky Way latte thing right now. Delicious.

So yes, Meshugeh is my blog. No more skipping across the country for new blog names, depending on where my whims and fancies take me. After months and months of blogging, I finally have a permanent home on the internet - hurray!

The Lovely Smell of Hollywood

Oh my god, the overwhelming smell of urine is wafting through my windows - I think a dozen or so bums died outside my apartment. Goddamn you, Hollywood.

Before I Go Out to Celebrate:

THANK YOU, AMERICA

PRESIDENT BARACK 

OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF OUR COUNTRY AND OUR VOTERS! FINALLY WE USHER IN THE CHANGE WE SO DESPERATELY NEED! I LOVE YOU BITCHES!

OBAMA '08!

TOMORROW'S ELECTION DAY, PEOPLE! GET OUT THERE AND VOTE!

And remember: we've already had 8 years of war, ruined international relations, national recession and financial crisis, bigotry and hatred, lying, cheating, fucking over the public, and generally ruining everything we worked so hard to gain. It's time for a new administration, a new party in office, and a leader that actually has our best interests at heart.

Also, McCain is technically the walking dead, and Palin might actually be Satan, so let's not usher in the Antichristic Duo, okay?

The Few - But Precious - Things I Like About LA

Well, I've come to the conclusion that I only like three things in LA:

1. My Lovely Friends

2. The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf

3. Pinkberry (although they have locations in NYC, soooo...)

Because seriously, they're the only things that make it bearable to stay out here; and yes, this is more bitching, and no, I don't care how annoying that makes me! But I do have to say that the Bean's Sugar Free Cafe Vanilla with Soy AND their Sugar Free Moroccan Mint Tea Latte with Soy might actually induce involuntary orgasms. Same with a Regular Pinkberry with Strawberries and Double Chocolate Chips. Now can you see why I stay out here?

Flabbergastion.

I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry, although I've been pretty good about alternating between the two for the past 36 or so hours. And I managed to do both at once while I was walking back on Sunset, once I realized I'm literally officially fucking broke. Fabulous. 

Hey, That's Some Plausible Shit Right There. You Should Blog About That.

Tom Ryan: Ever since the divorce it's like my life has no purpose. Half the time, I walk around feeling like a zombie! 
C.J.: Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there - that's real. 
Mahalik: Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street? 
C.J.: Yeah. 
Mahalik: She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day. The next morning, she turned up missing. 
Tom Ryan: Uh... 
C.J.: [C.J. interrupts] What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you "turn up missing"? 
Tom Ryan: 'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there! 
Tom Ryan: Guys, I'm trying to ask... 
C.J.: [C.J. interrupts again] So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time. 
Mahalik: No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. The bitch ain't David Copperfield! 
Tom Ryan: Uh, guys... 
C.J.: [C.J. interrupts yet again] Mmm. No, no. But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you're never missing. And when you're missing, you never turn up. 
Mahalik: Unless... you a zombie. 
C.J.: Damn! Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that. 
Mahalik: I'm gonna put that on MySpace. 
C.J.: You do that! 

And this is why I watch Scary Movie marathons.

Halloween Prep

Jesus Christ, every entry on here starts with some variation of "oh god, I'm such an asshole, I'm so bad at updating," and this is because it's true: my name is Chelsea, and I am an asshole, and I am crap at updating. But then the first part of rehabilitation is admitting your problem, right? 

At any rate, today is October 25th, and we all know what that means - ONE WEEK TODAY UNTIL HALLOWEEN! Oh my god. I'm so excited I could have a heart attack, even though I'm 23 and should probably have my shit together by this point. At the moment, I'm getting into the season by taking it easy and watching a Scary Movie marathon on Comedy Central, because ohmigod I love the Scary Movie series almost as much as I love Halloween itself, and anything (both the scary and the mocking-of-the-scary) just makes me feel so much better around this time of year. 

This year, I'm going as a slutty Dorothy, which in effect perverts the last of my childhood dreams. I'm due to start writing my drug-induced memoir any day now; perhaps in a few hours, if Andrea makes good on her plan to smoke, or perhaps in a few minutes, because my neighbors are smoking, and it's coming through the window in a major way, and I think I'm starting to fishbowl. But I digress.

Pretty much my exact costume, but my shoes are way hotter

Yesterday, Danee and I went on a costume adventure spanning all the way from West Hollywood to The Valley (and downtown Burbank, my new favorite place in LA, because... well, because I have issues) and finally found the costumes of our childhood dreams - mine, of course, being Dorothy, and hers being Minnie Mouse. And, because we love being thrifty and crafty, we made our iconic shoes by spraypainting one pair yellow and one pair red, and sprinkling glitter on the red ones. Hello, ruby slippers! Oddly enough, we both had curiously lilac colored pumps, a color that I'm not entirely sure was meant to exist in nature, so voila - for free, we get costume shoes. Brilliant!

Pictures galore will ensue, because I've been here for 5+ months now, and I have a depressingly small amount of pictorial evidence to prove that point. And because it'll be Halloween, we'll be drunk, and we'll be in costume - I'm pretty sure you're breaking multiple laws if you don't break out the cameras. 

I Hate Hollywood

The same. Motherfucking car alarm. Has been going off. FOR OVER A FUCKING HOUR. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE.

I seriously HATE living in this part of Hollywood; this occurs at least twice a day, every day.

BRB, going to pull a Britney: